Artie Lange Gambling Stories

Yeah, Artie gets his own page.


  • "I Won $140,000 on the Super Bowl in 2007. But after everything - the hooker, the commission, and everything - I got back on the plane, I did the math. I was down 5 grand." -- Artie Lange, talking about his biggest bet he ever made, on the Joe Rogan podcast.

  • "I would go bet at 5 o'clock, and then I would go drinking and I would be drunk and I would call the bookie again at 7:30 so drunk and all I would do is bet on the other team. So, all I could do is lose the vig - the tax for losing. So I lose the vig, the next day I call the book up and go "Dude, what the fuck did you let me do that for?", and he actually said this to me..."You gotta learn a life lesson." -- Artie Lange

  • People say, "OK, How do you know you're a degenerate gambler"? Well, here's how you know. If you're at the Mirage sportsbook in Las Vegas at 4 AM, and you got a scotch in one hand, and your jaw is moving really crazy because of bad coke you did or something. And you are walking up to total strangers and going 'You seen the high school lacrosse scores? I bet on Don Bosco prep.'" -- Artie Lange

  • "I was down 2 grand before the game started" - Artie Lange, talking about how he lost $2,000 on the pre-game coin flip on the Super Bowl.

  • Artie won $22,000 hustling 9-ball when he was 22. He and his friend would scam other players by pretending to not know each other. They would set each other up for good shots.

  • A conversation Artie Lange had with his friend while watching Monday Night Football talking about gambling on boring games.

    Artie's friend: "It's a bad game. It's two teams I don't care about. They both got no wins. The Browns and the Rams. I don't care about this game. I'm bored."
    Artie Lange: "You want to make it interesting? How much money do you have in your savings account?"
    Artie's friend: "$800"
    Artie Lange: "Put $1,500 on the Rams."


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