POKER INFO - PROILE - Dave "Devilfish" Ulliot

SEnt Dave a lucky badge last night - one of a cat swiping a butterfly. Very classy and it only cost me a couple of quid. He'll be wearing it in the WSOP.

Dave rung me tonight..he says hes in top form for the world series..says he will win it this year and noone will get in his way..says that gus and phil have no chance..I told him this attitude will pay off greatly at the table..he loved hearing me be positive about him..good luck dave

Received a postcard from Dave last night - confessed to me that he's feeling a little nervous but thinks the poker nights we had a couple of months ago will stand him in good stead. He admitted that he's learned more from those whoopings than 20+ years of tournament competition. He now rubs his lucky badge before each flop.

Dave rung me earlier on his new phone..its a posh new camera phone..sent me a few pics of him in vegas with the girls and at the table..he said he cant wait til the action gets under way and that hes looking forward to our home games which we play often together..he misses English food and drink he told me..I promised next time hes here we will go out for fish n chips and beers...he said "Id adore that cat"

Yeah good old Dave certainly likes his cod and chips although I think he had developed a liking for skate last time he was over. Spent many a night getting boozed up in Hull with Ully and then heading back to his gaff for a little heads-up action. Even played some cards.

Lol V good wizard..Dave rung earlier hes really looking forward to the world series..said he went for a big steak in a restaurant there..he said the waitress asked him where hes from..he said "England"..after that dave said she kissed him and said she loved englishmen...anyways Dave hurry back to England so we can go nightclubbing like we have the last times we met

Englishcat. You are violating the terms of your probation by contacting Dave in this manner. Stop now or I will haul you in again and put you in a cell with Bubba Brown again.

Hehe v funny..Daves on the phone to me now actually..we are talking about the world series which starts soon..he says hes going to win this year easily and have I got any tips for him...Ive said to him to relax and not to get over excited..He thanked me profusely for my words of advice and told me he`s so going to win this year..He told me It will be a double what with us getting the Olympics and him winning the world series..I laughed and said "Youre so cool Dave"..he replied "Thanks Cat but so are you"

Received a rather worrying e-mail from Dave this morning - apparently his prized sovereign ring has gone missing. I told him not to panic and that I'll contact Elizabeth Duke immediately and ask for a replacement but he wasn't having any of it. Told me that it has huge sentimental value as it dates back to his days as a pawn broker when he bought it off a blind elderly lady for 4 quid and a packet of Cheese straws.

Daves rung me tonight when he was in a hire car on the way to a pub in vegas..he was asking me tips and strategies for the world series..I said "Dave you have to get into the hand quick and make sure u win it"..he thought for a while and said "thats profound Cat I shall certainly do that"..he said tonight hes going to relax and have a few beers and maybe pick up a woman..I said "Dave I hope your wife dont find out"..he laughed and said "What she dont know dont hurt her"..how we laughed

cat, u dont no devilfish. u dont know any of these ppl and none of them need ur help, u need there help. and besides the main event started today so hes probably playing it in it right now. and what the hell do u mean get into the hand quick. and besides none of these players if there smart r gonna have a late night. they should rest up there gonna be playing all day and night. and remember moneymaker, he was like the 5th to be eliminated in 04 after a late night(even though he sucks anyway)

Yes Daves at vegas now...and about the late nights..When Dave plays me at poker we normally end up playing and boozing til 4am and the next day he normally plays a big tourney..so there..Daves booked into a great hotel he was telling me..the room service is exemplory and the waitresses are cute he told me

aggressive style. respectable player. not afraid to move his chips around..

devilfish ko'd on day one.

Dave rung tonight in tears..he told me "Cat I dont know what to do Im having a crisis of confidence"..I replied "Dave,life is one long path with many crossroads u have to pick the right road to walk down"..he brightened and said "thanks Cat"

wasnt that line of a movie

Whats a comma? anyways Dave rung me this afternoon..he said hes looking forward to coming back to England and asked me if we could go out on sunday night for beers and a home game..I said "Of course Dave,I shall buy u a pint and U can tell me about Vegas"..Dave said "Ok deal Cat I look forward to seeing you"..Dave was also saying that its hot in Vegas..I said "Dave we are all warm blooded creatures"..he said "I always learn from you Cat"..anyways see you at the weekend Dave

I think the reason for Dave's early exit was his loss of his cat badge the night before the tournament began. He told me he had just treated himself to a hearty wank when he realised that the badge had disappeared from his suit. Even in his soiled state he looked frenziedly for it but it was nowhere to be seen. Bloke was devastated.

Dave rung tonight and we chatted about the world series..anyways after an hour of chatting Dave said "When am I seeing u again Cat u r such a good friend we should go out somewhere"..I said "Dave, we shall go out soon maybe hire a boat and go sailing and drink beer all day"..Dave said "Sounds idyllic Cat"..anyways I ve booked the yacht up for the end of the Month and we are going sailing..how cool is that?

he didnt do so bad in the wsop. he made a couple of in-the-moneys and i heard he got 3rd in a NL holdem event. way to go dave

OK, that last post wasn't me. I mean how could i even afford to rent a yacht when I make five bucks an hour cleaning the spluge off the windows and floors at the nude dance booth place by my mom's house? Dave is a good friend, and I am sorry for giving him herpes. I am so sorry David. Cheerio.

What I meant to say was five pounds an hour. And that was after I got a raise in salary. I said five bucks an hour because I just took a trip to the U.S. I snuck my way into the luggage compartment of a 747 jumbo jet bound for Vegas. It was very cold. When I got to Vegas I stalked...um, visited my favorite poker players. After bonding out of jail...um, leaving my hotel room, I made my way to the Rio hotel to play in the WSOP main event. Unfortunately I proceeded to spend the rest of my bankroll on all of Vegas' finest crack whores before I got there. I was dead ass broke but I still had to play. I got to the Rio and tried to pass a counterfeit ten thousand dollar bill signing in under the name Phil Helmuth. I thought no one would notice. I was never told that ten thousand dollar bills aren't in circulation and that there was already a Phil Helmuth in the tournament. I was immediately arrested and after numerous full cavity searches, I was told that the crack whores had given me aids to go along with my herpes and got booted back to England. Upon my return my citizenship was revoked and I was deported to Siberia. I am now in a gulag awaiting execution. I will be drawn and quartered tomorrow morning. This is my last letter to the known civilized world. Goodbye everybody I guess I deserve it. My mommy always told me I was an asshole.

Last post quite amusing actually lol..but of course I didnt write it..anyways Dave emailed me earlier and said that hes looking at yachts in a sailing yard tomorrow and would I drive down and meet him and help him pick one..I said "Of course Dave you are my friend and a few hundred miles is nothing in the name of friendship"..Im waiting the reply..I will let u know tomorrow what yacht we picked!

That last post wasnt me..anyways Dave and I met at the boatyard..we picked a 45 foot yacht and Dave said "Seeing as you are my friend Cat you choose the name"..I said "Well Dave lets call her Hearty"..so thats the new name of Daves Boat..we are sailing next weekend around to Ireland where Dave has a 2nd home..I shall tell you what we get up to soon

Of course the above 3 posts werent written by me..Dave phoned tonight..he said "Cat Im setting sail in Hearty tomorrow for a short sail,would U like to come?"..I said "Ofcourse Dave shall I bring the beer?"..he chuckled and said " I have vintage champagne on board Cat we will get v drunk"..I said "Ok Dave see you at 8am"...its gonna be so cool

That above post wasn't by me. Dave would never say, "We'll get drunk," because he knows better than to get drunk around me, the cat. The cat gets really horny for young Asian boys and I would have probably violated several laws involving sodomy.Quit faking like you are me. There is only one englishcat, and that is me.I'm here, I'm queer, so let me jam it in your rear.

Hmm not funny lads..Me and Dave went on "Hearty" today and sailed round the South Coast of England..was a great day the sun was shining and the champagne was flowing..We both got quite sunburnt but it didnt matter we had a lot of fun and will sail again on Hearty next week!

Thats awful..the last post wasnt by me..Update Dave just phoned me..its midday and quite rainy and he said "Cat its a good day to go on Hearty,are You up for it?"..I said "Of course Dave lets go sailing and drink beer"..he chuckled and said "Ive got a few woman friends to come on board so we will have fun"..I laughed and said "Dave you are deadly cool"...he said "As of course you are Cat"!

Tut tut how awful..Im just back from being with Dave on "Hearty"..it was a fantastic day..we got very drunk and sailed for quite a few hours..the girls on board were a lot of fun too..they kept getting up and bring Dave and I drinks all the time..His girl was Called Sharon and the girl with me was called Kim...Kim was laughing all day at my jokes and Dave and I both dropped them off in their home town after the sail..What a day..We are going again very soon and Sharon and Kim are coming to!

man i love the devilfish, i wanna see him and gus heads up in one of the wpt events, it would be great