What I meant to say was five pounds an hour. And that was after I got a raise in salary. I said five bucks an hour because I just took a trip to the U.S. I snuck my way into the luggage compartment of a 747 jumbo jet bound for Vegas. It was very cold. When I got to Vegas I stalked...um, visited my favorite poker players. After bonding out of jail...um, leaving my hotel room, I made my way to the Rio hotel to play in the WSOP main event. Unfortunately I proceeded to spend the rest of my bankroll on all of Vegas' finest crack whores before I got there. I was dead ass broke but I still had to play. I got to the Rio and tried to pass a counterfeit ten thousand dollar bill signing in under the name Phil Helmuth. I thought no one would notice. I was never told that ten thousand dollar bills aren't in circulation and that there was already a Phil Helmuth in the tournament. I was immediately arrested and after numerous full cavity searches, I was told that the crack whores had given me aids to go along with my herpes and got booted back to England. Upon my return my citizenship was revoked and I was deported to Siberia. I am now in a gulag awaiting execution. I will be drawn and quartered tomorrow morning. This is my last letter to the known civilized world. Goodbye everybody I guess I deserve it. My mommy always told me I was an asshole.