Thanks for the Kind words Steph I was disappointed but that ofyen happens when we get our expectations too high. For me staying clean and away from the rush of drugs or gambling came through 12 step programs which allowed me to re-connect with a "higher power" which was the teachings of Jesus. We often look for a plan and when we hit our heads against walls we look for escapes (drugs,gambling...quick fixes...then dissappointment). A mind seeking escape does not confront fear and for me faith and awareness of my diseases relieved that fear so I could go on and become what I was put here for (a calling) and not throw my life away looking for escapes or an easy fix. No one "including Jesus" said life would be easy. But the desire for money and "stuff" blinds us to life. We must learn to live in the present not the past or future and enjoy gods gift of life. That was just for me... each one of us are on our own path and own purpose... no better no worse and without judgement. Money and desire to be the greatest leads to the isolation of the spirit and away from truth of who we really are. We all fall short at times and no one can cast the first stone. I have always believed you are who you are... I have always admired your Dad and knew all about him and his life and knew who you were by what you said as truth... but after getting to know his daughter here (a little..which is why i was so dissappointed not to meet you) I now realize there is a reason beyond our comprehension and evolution of his life and now through you and your Mom a lesson for all of us. Thanks again and God bless your Mom and you for using the money to help others. KentP.s. I am not only clean but have stopped gambling.