Imagine the odds.....

[Iceman37]

at my friends house, when in walks Johnny-fuqqin'-Chan. We sit down and start playing and on the second hand I'm dealt AA. I lead out with $82,000 and the title to my estate in Kenya. Johnny comes over the top with $4.4 million and the keys to his Jag.

Naturally, I call.

Wouldn't you know it...the flop comes AAA! Yep, that's right, I hit five aces off the flop! I check, and Johnny goes all-in with the key to his wife's chastity belt and the souls of his four children. This makes me think he really must have something, so I use all my poker skills to try to deduce whether he's bluffing or not. Could he have the sixth and seventh ace?

Finally, I decide to call. He turns over the rook card AND the old maid card. I can't believe he would call with that crap. The turn and river come rag-rag, and I win everything he owns including a priceless Ming vase and Christie Turlington's phone number.

"Nice hand, kid," he says. "I really put you on four of a kind times two. I heard about that happening once. Who WAS that kid who hit that..."

"Sorry, John," I said. "I just can't remember..."

Then I went outside and made it with Evelyn Ng in the back of Johnny's Jag.